A continuing conversation for your marriage journey.
Where would you like to begin?
Before You Begin
Eight principles for a meaningful check-in.
1
Reject the Fool's Choice
You don't have to choose between honesty and kindness. Sit with each question long enough to find an answer that is both true and generous.
2
Go Slowly
Resist the pull to fill silence. The most powerful moments in this check-in will come after a pause, not before one.
3
Alternate
One question. One voice at a time. Let your spouse answer before you respond. This is a conversation between equals, not a debrief.
4
Listen to Understand
While your spouse is speaking, your only job is to receive. Reflect back what you heard before you offer your own perspective.
5
This Is a Marathon
Two to four cards done well is a great check-in. Don't measure success by how much ground you covered. The best work is unhurried.
6
It's OK to Skip
If a card doesn't reflect where you are right now, or you're not ready to go there yet, set it aside. We caution against avoidance, but we trust your discernment.
7
Stay Humble
You may not see in yourself what your spouse sees. And you may not be able to fix what ails you alone. Licensed Christian counselors exist for exactly that moment. Don't be afraid to reach out.
8
Pray First
We can always do more than pray, but we can never do less. Any life your marriage receives will ultimately come from Him. "In Him we live and move and have our being." (Acts 17:28)
"Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
Mark 10:9